Emotion, Brian Cox and a middle-aged pitch invasion – the Premier League finale as seen on TV

By
James BAOUCH
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There is more football on television than ever before — and there will be even more next season — so it was no surprise that there were four live matches broadcast in the United Kingdom on the final day of the 2023-24 campaign.

This year was slightly different in that the Premier League’s two biggest games were split, with Sky Sports showing Manchester City against West Ham United and TNT getting its first taste of final-day title-race action by showing Arsenal’s game against Everton.

What with Liverpool vs Wolves and (yes, honestly) Chelsea vs Bournemouth also screened on Sky, how would the talent be split up? Who would strike the right tone? And what does it all mean? The Athletic watched all four games so you didn’t have to.

Coverage starts at 3pm on Sky and TNT. But wait, there’s a problem. Some pesky lower-league game is threatening to ruin everything.

A couple of unfashionable teams in League Two, apparently. Crawley vs Crewe in a play-off final or something and it’s running over into the 11th minute of stoppage time, past 3pm, pushing back Sky’s coverage.

Pretty inconvenient that a football match is getting in the way when we could be watching a slow-motion montage of City’s players arriving at the Etihad.


Crawley Town’s players celebrate promotion to League One (Adam Davy/PA Images via Getty Images)

Thank goodness Sky only gives credence to 46 seconds of celebrations for one of the biggest days in Crawley Town’s history before switching to the main event: the build-up.

David Jones sets the scene in a pleasingly understated manner. No hyperbole, no sensationalism, no “West Ham won here in 2015 when Diafra Sakho scored the winner so they could do it again” nonsense.

He lists City’s unbeaten run (22 matches) and successive wins (eight) and only wonders whether nerves might play a part… but even then he sounds unconvinced.

“This is Manchester City’s day of reckoning,” Jones proclaims. Well, that’s going to be in a Premier League back office in 2025 isn’t it, according to recent estimates?

Anyway, on with the show. Micah Richards is Sky’s resident Manchester City fan for the day (conveniently ignoring the fact he grew up as an Arsenal fan, albeit Sky having this game thankfully spares us TNT desperately embellishing Joleon Lescott’s City allegiances) and even Richards is avoiding overkill, saying City can handle the pressure.

Here comes Pep Guardiola and a daft opener from Jones, asking if the bigger challenge today is keeping the players calm or keeping himself calm.

Ask a silly question and get a silly answer. “No, I don’t play,” Guardiola responds, going on to talk about the importance of not thinking of the consequences of the result. “You have to try to think what you’re doing during the game,” he says. Can’t really argue with that to be fair.

In comes Gary Neville with a poser that genuinely stumps the Manchester City manager: “What’s the most important characteristic of your team?”

Guardiola takes five seconds to speak. “I would say there are many, but especially the quality of the players.” Great.


Guardiola offers Sky his pre-match thoughts (Robbie Jay Barratt – AMA/Getty Images)

No, he goes on to talk about mindset as well, before Sky show images from the 1995 final day when West Ham kyboshed Manchester United’s title hopes.

“We didn’t do our job,” Neville says, partly making up for the sadly absent Roy Keane. “We then went and lost the FA Cup final a week later… I hope it happens to City today HA HA HA.” Banter.

In the tunnel, Patrick Davidson is trying his best to eke some heartfelt sentiments from David Moyes just minutes before the Scot’s 261st and final West Ham match (before his third spell from February to May next year after Julen Lopetegui is sacked for prioritising style over points). Moyes won a European trophy, he’s had five years and made countless memories. He must be close to tears.

“My emotions are fine,” Moyes replies, eyes to the floor, completely deadpan. Moyes for the win.

Talking of emotions, over at Anfield, Jamie Carragher has been dispatched to turn up the emotion-o-meter to 11 alongside fellow Red Kelly Cates for an unbiased afternoon of straight talking.

Klopp joins them pitchside, Cates starts with a cheeky grin and asks if he’ll miss the media. Head back, mouth open, every tooth showing: “HYA HYA HYA, no not really.” Classic Klopp.

The next five minutes resemble an episode of Loose Women as Carra and Cates focus exclusively on emotions and feelings with a sensitive line of questioning. How emotional is Klopp? When will he be the most emotional? Can the players focus amid all the emotion? How much emotion will he show during You’ll Never Walk Alone?

Klopp isn’t really having it. As he says, he’s in game mode and even starts talking about how dry the pitch is. The pitch clearly isn’t emotional.

TNT enters the final day with Lynsey Hipgrave calling this the tightest title race in Premier League history. Which isn’t true.

In fact, in contrast to Sky, TNT is really trying to amp up the possibility of last-day drama. It really wants an unforgettable afternoon and for the trophy to be lifted on its channel. Cue a generic montage spouting things like the ‘day of reckoning’ and ‘the impossible realised’ when heroes will be born and legends made.

In reality, the only jeopardy is: “Will Scott Carson get on for the last 10 minutes?” But that doesn’t really fit with the tone.

Hipgrave is now outside the stadium alongside Rio Ferdinand and Martin Keown, who are stood in the shade but wearing sunglasses. Ferdinand effortlessly pulls off the look; Keown less so. He takes the role of mascot/fan much more seriously than Richards, though, declaring that he is a “firm believer” Arsenal will win the league and if they do, he’ll be dancing later.

It’s not Keown’s finest hour, topped off by the fans behind him singing: “William Saliba, he’s better than you.” Keown doesn’t engage.


Ferdinand on the touchline at the Emirates (James Gill – Danehouse/Getty Images)

Pitchside, Jules Breach is with Premier League chief executive Richard Masters, who isn’t at the Etihad to probably present them the trophy. Breach lands the question of the day: “Why are you here?”

He says something about a fitting finale for whoever wins and later says the VAR system does need to improve, before stating how wet water is. Breach 1-0 Masters.

TNT is doing OK, but then it goes and spoil it all by showing something stupid like a pre-recorded knock-off Succession parody with a beardless, American accent-less Brian Cox speaking over the Wish version of the Succession theme tune (violins playing slightly different notes) as he takes “Crouchy”, “Coley” and others to task about not winning a Champions League final, thereby plugging their coverage for two weeks. Cox sounds like Ronnie Corbett. It’s really bad.

On Sky, they’re so blase about the non-title race that they’re focusing on Klopp instead of City, showing an excellent segment of important Liverpool players/figures telling Klopp what they think of him as he sits in a weirdly darkened room and gets, yes, emotional.

As kick-off approaches, the moment of truth on the day of destiny is finally here: will Klopp cry during You’ll Never Walk Alone?

No, he’s chatting to the Wolves bench. It’s a pretty outstanding scene around the stadium, which Sky’s spider cams make the most of; mosaics, flags, banners etc. The pitchside camera then zooms in as close as it can to Klopp’s eyes. No tears, but there is a lip wobble. Confirmed. Then a little knowing nod.

“He’ll certainly never walk alone today,” commentator Rob Hawthorne says. Oh Rob, don’t do that.

Anyway, ‘What’s happening at Chelsea vs Bournemouth?’ I hear no one ask. Not much, really, there’s no presenter at Stamford Bridge, just straight into commentary with Bill Leslie and Alan Smith, talking of an undulating and eventful nine months as if Chelsea endured a particularly difficult pregnancy.

Over at the Etihad, there’s no messing around from Sky with its A-team of Peter Drury and Neville.

“Since proud Preston won the first, the century before last, no team has ever been champions of England in four successive seasons. City, to go here, where no club has ever been before.”

That’s Drury, not Neville, to clarify. Sky knows what’s coming. Drury lists how many titles each of City’s XI will have won after today.

“There’s a feeling here that it’s coronation day,” Neville says. “There’s a job to do and they usually do it.”

And one minute and 18 seconds in, the job is well on the way to being completed when Phil Foden gives City the lead.

“Oh wow!” Drury is excited. “That’s the boy! The power and the glory!”


Foden curls in Manchester City’s early opener (Alex Livesey – Danehouse/Getty Images)

It’s TNT’s worst nightmare. Commentator Adam Summerton, stepping up for the absent Darren ‘Fletch’ Fletcher, says the title race “has kept us guessing to the end”. In theory, it has, but with everyone guessing City will win.

“There is still jeopardy and potential opportunity,” he adds. And: “What a couple of hours we could have ahead of us here.” TNT are really trying.

Arsenal kick off a couple of minutes ahead of City, but it is still some five minutes and 30 seconds into the game when Summerton reluctantly breaks the news that City have scored, which viewers have already worked out by the shots of people in the crowd shaking their heads and showing their phone to those around them.

“Well, Manchester City are 1-0 up,” Summerton says, pain in his voice.

For excitement, then, it’s off to Stamford Bridge, where Moises Caicedo has scored from the halfway line and there is only one word to describe it.

“Absolutely sensational goal,” Leslie says. “Absolutely astonishing.”

“Absolute beauty,” Smudger Smith adds. Absolutely. “That’s £115million well spent,” Smith zings.

Talking of 115, City are 2-0 up, Foden again. Time for some Drury alliteration: “Another magic day for a magic Manchester man. His club, his country, embrace him.”

Neville isn’t hopeful of a comeback: “West Ham are struggling to put one pass together, let alone score a goal.”


Neville at the Etihad Stadium (Robbie Jay Barratt – AMA/Getty Images)

City go five points clear on this most nail-biting of final days when Everton take a 1-0 lead over Arsenal.

“This certainly wasn’t in the script, was it?” Summerton remarks.

“That certainly wasn’t in the plans, was it?” Ally McCoist echoes, really hammering home the lack of foresight in the current scoreline.

But hang on, just when you thought it was over, a characteristically flamboyant Neville “ohhhhhh” pulls you back in.

“Has the goal of the season been named already?” he queries as Mohammed Kudus sticks one over his head and into the net. Guardiola throws a water bottle to the floor and spits.

Neville also reveals he’s got a notification on his phone that says Arsenal have equalised. The person most happy about this is Summerton, who then can’t contain his excitement about the news from the Etihad.

“By the way, that goal should be worth two,” McCoist says of Kudus’ strike. Classic McCoist.

Then Erling Haaland misses from six yards and… surely not? A cat is quietly approaching a gaggle of pigeons. Drury hasn’t declared the fall of Ancient Rome just yet, but he can’t be far off.

“A sobering end to what had been a giddy first half,” he perfectly surmises. “Kudus has injected some jeopardy.”

West Ham won’t have another shot in the match, but yes. For now, there is intrigue.

“Just when you thought it was all over,” Jones grins in the Sky studio as Jamie Redknapp slaps Richards on the knee and everyone laughs.

Redknapp then claims City always do things the hard way. OK, time for a break.


Kudus’ acrobatic goal gives the broadcasters hope (Robbie Jay Barratt – AMA/Getty Images)

The second halves start with a lull, particularly at the Etihad where it’s very, very quiet.

And then, minute 59, the title is won. “Rodri rattles City to within reach,” shouts Drury. “Feel the place breathe!”

They have found their voices and it’s the Emirates which falls silent. “That’s a sore one for them, no doubt about that,” says McCoist.

Thereafter, it’s a ceremonial finish. Arsenal get their winner late and, with fans hearing West Ham have scored, there is one final surge of belief, quickly extinguished as news filters through that Tomas Soucek’s effort has been disallowed.

Neville is asked by Drury to sum up City’s achievements.

“You can’t take anything away from them… (beat) …from a sporting perspective.”

Neville doesn’t go into a 115-charges rant. Instead, he’s far more unhappy about the age of the City fans who are encroaching on the pitch ready to invade at full time.

“What are they doing?” he demands to know. “They’re not kids either, by the way, they’re 40-year-old blokes.”

The staunch Manchester United fan thinks City’s fans shouldn’t really have any need to invade the pitch because this isn’t their first title, suggesting that because they’re used to it, they should celebrate more meekly. Interesting take. If they were sat on their hands he’d have a pop, too, you suspect.


City players dart for cover as middle-aged men and women who should know better invade the pitch (Alex Livesey – Danehouse/Getty Images)

“They rule supreme,” Drury is going for it at full time. “The genius of Guardiola has prevailed once more. Six in seven, he bestrides the game as few have ever done before.” Lovely stuff.

The chief of the celebration police is less interested in that. “What a shame those players can’t celebrate out on the pitch because quite a lot have decided to run on and fill the pitch themselves,” Neville barbs.

Over at Anfield, Hawthorne is stretching the credulity of analogies, desperate to describe Liverpool’s 2-0 victory over Wolves as a metaphor for Klopp’s tenure as a whole.

“This victory, in many ways, sums up his reign in terms of the goalscorers who provided it,” he starts. “Shrewd recruitment in Alexis Mac Allister, shrewd promotion from the youth ranks in Jarell Quansah… and the icing on the cake, a clean sheet.”

Or in real life, a completely forgettable win played out like a pre-season friendly. And a clean sheet, which Liverpool have struggled to achieve for months. But this is Klopp’s farewell, it all has to fit.

Klopp is one of the greatest managers in the history of the Premier League and Liverpool, so incessant fawning is due, but there is a sense of just trying to say the boldest statement imaginable, especially from Carragher: “When you see these scenes here… this has probably never been seen in football before.” Oh, Jamie.

Arteta is doing a speech at the Emirates. “Now is time to have a break,” he says, with his best comment of the season by a distance. Well said.

It’s 6.50pm before the trophy is finally lifted. “This is English football history,” states Drury.

It sure is. Asterisk.

(Top photos: Getty Images)



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